This week has been one in which I've had to choose trust again and again. Do I trust that God is going to come through for me? Do I trust that He knows what's best and whatever ends up happening is going to work for good? It's been kind of scary, if I'm honest. I start to think too much, and then anxiety starts taking hold, and then I start ignoring all my problems in an effort to make the anxiety go away, but then I start thinking and then the whole blasted cycle repeats itself. It's been important to remember that trust is a choice, not a feeling; whether or not I know what's going to happen, I made the decision to trust and I know that whatever happens, it'll be ok. Even if something happens that prevents me from launching on the Race, I know that God has something hand-picked for me to do, something He wants me to do, and no one else.

 Here's a poem I wrote yesterday in Prayer Room at church:

He beckons me with open arms

And offers to hold my hand.

But what can I give Him?

All I have to offer is hunger,

My thirst for His love.

Desire overwhelms me

And I ask, "Is that ok?"

His gaze touches my soul

As He says "Of course,

That's all I've ever wanted,

Someone to love me passionately,

Someone who wants Me." 

I take His hand slowly, 

And He asks,

"May I have this dance?"